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ForeBears: My Crush On Squash And Alex Karras

We were already aware of Alex Karras due to his NFL and wrestling careers and a brief acting role in Blazing Saddles as the strong slow witted Mongo.

But Alex broke into the ForeBears Hall of Fame when he appeared as Squash Bernstein, the gay bodyguard in the movie Victor Victoria. The mustache, the bull neck and beefy arms certainly got our attention. But what really impressed us was his non-stereotypical gay character. He was rough and tough, yet tender and looking for love. He sure brought out the cuddle bear in all of us.

Mongo in bondage from Blazing Saddles.

Mongo’s exercising his right to bear arms

Squash gets steamed

Coming out to the boss.

Hot n’ sweaty.

We wanna trade places with Robert Preston!

Come to bed eyes

Here’s some dialog from Victor Victoria. Squash has just come out to his boss, King Marchand:

King Marchand: [working out at a gym] Hey, Squash…
Squash Bernstein: Yeah?
KM: Can I ask you a… personal question?
SB: Go ahead.
KM: How long, I mean… exactly when did you know you…
SM: How long have I been gay?
KM: Yeah.
SM: Oh, God, I can’t remember when I wasn’t!
KM: I’ve known you for fifteen years…
SB: You know a lot of guys, boss, you’d be surprised.
KM: But, you were all-American! I never saw a rougher, tougher, meaner, sonofabitch football player in all my life.
SB: Boss, if you didn’t want the guys to call you queer, you became a rough tough sonofabitchin’ football player.
KM: [suddenly colliding with a large man and his companion] Why don’t you watch where you’re going, huh?
Large Man’s Companion: [after translating to the Large Man in French] He says that it was your fault and suggests that you apologize.
KM: Oh, he does, does he?
SB: Come on, boss…
KM: No, no, no…[to Companion] Well, you tell him if he’d like an apology, he can just get him some gloves and I’ll see him in the ring.
Large Man’s Companion: [translating] Just give him ten minutes. He will be delighted to oblige.
[they walk off]
KM: “He’ll be delighted to oblige.” Who the hell does he think he is?
SB: Guy Langois, the French middleweight boxing champion.
[King freezes]
SB: But don’t worry, boss![whispers] He’s gay!

If you really want to be able to appreciate Alex Karras and all the roles he’s done, pick-up some DVDs from Amazon and have yourself a Karras-a-thon at home.

Read about other ForeBears.

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