My Photo Shoot With “The Tooz” John Matuszak: By Teddi Bare

Written by BigHugsWill on April 29, 2008 – 5:21 am -

Ever since the Oakland Raiders’ defensive lineman John Matuszak posed nude for Playgirl back in 1982, his co-model ’80s furries pornstar Mr. Teddi Bare has been pretty quiet about his photo shoot with the big man… That is, until now.

John Matuszak facial shot

Here Teddi Bare is posed with a furry and naked John Matuszak. What you can’t see (yet) is The Tooz putting his hand between Teddi’s thighs. No wonder Ted has that big grin on his face!


John Matuszak bare naked with a bear

“I was definitely nervous,” Mr. Bare explained. “I mean, I had never been that close with the husky John before… And when I was given the opportunity to be beside him naked? I mean, wow, it couldn’t get much better than that.”

“Of course, I had to be naked as well, and I made sure that I was pretty buffed up for the photo shoot. I mean, this was Playgirl we’re talking about! I needed to look good. However, I did not want to look too good as to upstage the sexy Mr. Matuszak.”

John Matuszak posed naked in a doorway

The one thing that stands-out for us when looking at these photos is that beefy Tooz tush. When asked about John Matuszak’s derrière, this is what Teddi had to say:

“I have been through many photo shoots and films. But I must say that The Tooz’s butt was definitely built by the gods themselves. It’s Grade-A beef that’s made of rock-hard, honest-to-goodness pure solid muscle…” Teddi gives a devilish grin then finishes with, “Well, let’s just say I know this because I was an honorary Raiders Pirate after the photo shoot…”

Was Ted implying that he had become a “butt pirate” at some point? We were of course intrigued and wanted to hear more.

John Matuszak posed naked facing forward

“One of the things that impressed me was the sheer size of John. It’s difficult to describe in words just how he exuded such a magnetic and overpowering presence. That shot of him just sitting down and partly concealing his manhood. Well, I have to say that it’s my favorite. It’s almost — well, exactly– like staring at a modern-day David sculpture — except John is of the beefier and bearish kind.”

John Matuszak lying in the nude

“The pool photo was definitely my favorite. I swam in the nude with John, but unfortunately, those shots got left on the editing room floor. My fur got all matted in the water — it wasn’t very flattering at all. Anyway, I couldn’t help watching John being completely soaked with water, as well as with his natural manly sweat. It was like being in a dream. I even had the pleasure to rub oil on John and I must say that even though I suffered through the worst case of chapped paws because of it, it was definitely all worth it. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of massaging John’s big and beefy chest and wide and massive shoulders.”

John Matuszak football photo

“And, oh, by the way, that beard and furry body of his? Good heavens. I wish I had such lovely fur. Yeah, I know, just look at me. I’m totally green with envy here. He is the epitome of a big burly bear, right?”

John Matuszak looking sexy

–Excerpts from Mr. Teddi Bare’s best-selling autobearography, “Baring It All: Furries Stories.”

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7 Comments on “My Photo Shoot With “The Tooz” John Matuszak: By Teddi Bare”

  1. By NetBear on Apr 29, 2008 6:44:28 AM | Reply

    OMG Teddi Bare and Tooz tush in the same posting!? Head spinning… Must go take cold shower!

  2. By BignFuzzy on Apr 29, 2008 6:37:26 PM | Reply

    Wow! Teddi really has a way with words but then of course, he’s a bear chaser who’s also a bear. Bears like Teddi always seem to get their paws on the best specimens,I’m envious!

  3. By jorge on May 7, 2008 6:01:35 PM | Reply

    Nice. Very nice indeed. Now, could you find similar photos of that super-woofy-musclebear of Matt Rogers??? THAT would really make my day…

  4. By Rebel Ed on Apr 15, 2009 7:32:02 PM | Reply

    There’s never ever going to be anybody like “Da ‘Tooz.” He wanted to be an actor, kicked some serious butt in football…then the partying and steroids destroyed him. Like that song says, “Life is unfair.” Matuszak (and Lyle Alzado) are what I want to be when I grow up.

  5. By pinkpoodle on May 20, 2009 8:15:14 PM | Reply

    What creeps me out is that this is the same dude who plays Sloth in The Goonies. Very disturbing.

  6. By julian on Feb 21, 2010 1:49:50 PM | Reply

    Matuzak attended the U. of Tampa and was an education major. In 1972, when I was in fourth grade in Tampa, he was my homeroom teaching intern. He also interned for all the P.E. classes. I think that the sight of all 6′8″ of him on a daily basis(two days a week in 70’s style football shorts and t-shirt) had a profound affect on this ten-year-old.

    He had a sad ending, but I remember him VERY fondly.

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